I was talking to a friend of mine the other day about something she had heard on the news that was very upsetting to her. While I had heard about this perceived threat, it wasn’t really on my radar the way it was on hers. As she was talking about it, I could hear the fear and anger in her voice continue to escalate. I kept my silence while she talked and talked about how upsetting this issue was and “How could we all just stand by silently and let this happen???”, “This just isn’t RIGHT!!”, “It just makes me so MAD!!” - until finally she said with complete frustration in her voice , “You aren’t really saying anything. Don’t you agree with me??? Don’t you think this is awful??????”
I was keeping silent for 2 reasons.
Although I had heard about this topic reported some on the news, I honestly hadn’t done much research to know how accurate the news coverage I was getting about it was. I wasn’t going to jump in with my uneducated opinion and add to the emotional escalation. If there is one thing I’ve learned these days, it’s not to trust any news source implicitly without doing some research myself. I mean, if you hear the same news on several news sources, then it’s worth digging into to find the truth, but honestly, who has time to research every single news story out there and make sure you are getting the whole story? I sure don’t.
I don’t know one single person in my life who is being affected by this perceived threat that my friend was so upset about. There are way more issues that I can see with my own eyes affecting me and my loved ones that I want to dedicate my emotional energies towards changing without taking on ones that aren’t even affecting me or someone I know personally.
Humans only have a limited amount of emotional, mental and physical energies to give. We have to work within those limitations. If I were to walk around being angry about every single issue that news commentators tell me that I should be angry about, then I would be a walking time-bomb. And I do see many of those out there these days. It doesn’t take much to set someone like that off. When humans are consistently pumped full of fear based messages, they will eventually explode - and that’s never a good thing. No wonder anger-management is so prevalent in therapy these days. Americans are HOT about more issues than our bodies and psyches can possibly manage, and that anger is going to eventually come out one way or another. It comes out in many ways, including, but not limited to: domestic abuse in homes, road rage incidents, spiritual abuse…. and of course, in mass shootings.
That’s why news commentators like Tucker Carlson are so dangerous. They create these walking time-bombs. They come into your home night after night telling you how to feel and think about all kinds of issue, many times creating false narratives that put fear and loathing into the hearts of everyone listening. They convince you that there are wayyyy more threats to your lives and lifestyles than you ever knew about. They teach you to live in fear of the “other” and to develop a loathing in your heart for people who don’t see things the way you do.
For example, I’ve seen interview after interview of people being asked about how much they hate CRT. They will talk in tangents about how horrible it is and how they will FIGHT to keep it out of being taught in public schools. I mean they are ANGRY about it! Then, when pressed to explain what CRT actually is, they have no idea. I saw one individual that didn’t even know what the letters CRT actually stood for (it stands for Critical Race Theory). All the others either had to admit they didn’t actually know what Critical Race Theory was or if they did try to explain it, they were wrong about what they thought it was. However, when faced with their ignorance over it, they still doubled down and said, “Well, I don’t actually know what it is, but I know it’s WRONG and I don’t want my kids exposed to it!!”. And of course, they said that with deep anger in their voices. Anger that was just fear in disguise. They are deeply afraid that something will be taught to their kids that will harm them. And that’s understandable. If I thought something was being taught to my kids that was harmful, I would be mad too!! However, they don’t actually know what it is, so how could they know if it’s harmful or not??
They “know” because commentators like Tucker Carlson TOLD THEM it is. They don’t need to know all the details. They just believe what they hear without question.
Humans have gotten lazy. They don’t want to be educated. They just want to have someone else tell them what to think, what to say, what to fear, what to loathe.
Like I said, there is no way I (or probably any of you) have the time to do the real research it takes to make sure your fear and anger over EVERY crisis presented to us in America is real and/or justified. Sure, with a google search, you are bound to find articles on it, but are the articles even correct? I consistently see differing data from site to site - so how do we know which data is correct??
Finding the truth these days ain’t easy.
Add in the new AI abilities and l believe it’s going to get even harder to know what’s true.
In Diana Butler Bass’s recent Substack post, Fear in Politics, she talks about a political ad that she saw that was very disturbing to her. She writes:
“The Republican ad imagines a post-2024 future of a second Biden presidency in a world riven by war (with China), economic collapse, out-of-control immigration, and crime. “Who’s in charge here?” a voice asks. “It feels like the train is coming off the tracks.”
When I saw it, I confess that it startled me — especially the crime footage from San Francisco. What? Where did they get those pictures? And then, I read a stories from Axios and Fortune. It isn’t real. The Republican ad is the first-ever AI-generated political ad. All of its visuals were created by a computer to appear as if they have some basis in reality. But nothing in it is real.”
WHOA. Is this our future? Fake news stories created by AI to stoke even more threats that aren’t even based in reality? Buckle up, friends. I feel things getting even crazier than ever. I’m not saying there aren’t real threats that should make us concerned and even angry. Anger can be a good thing if it gets us motivated to help enact needed change. But when we are stoked to anger about things that aren’t even really a real threat, then that’s when we know the news commentators are manipulating us. And they are making millions doing it.
So, the question is: How do we approach this in a somewhat healthy way, for our own mental well-being? The fear and loathing in American has reached an all time high, and there is no way that it is good for us, on a personal/human level, or for our country.
This is why I think it’s super crucial for us to make some parameters about how we choose to spend our emotional, mental and physical energies.
For me - this is what I’ve landed on:
Do I know anyone personally who is being affected by this perceived threat to our world, our country, my family/friends? If not, then it’s probably a big ol’ NO for me. I choose to spend my time, my fear, my worry, my anger aimed at threats I personally see within my own reality that are real.
Can I do anything about it? If I searched my heart and exhausted my resources and honestly have zero control over this perceived threat, then I release it over to God until something changes. It does me no good to carry around all that fear and anger if I can’t do anything to change it. I must rely on my faith at that point. It’s all I know to do.
If I don’t choose to pick my battles, then I get paralyzed. It’s too overwhelming. I can’t tackle ANY of the problems I see because I can’t narrow down what I feel is truly important.
What about you guys? How do you manage the constant barrage of fear-based news that gets shoved in our faces in unhealthy doses?
Fight for the things that are important to you. Hang in there, friends. I honestly believe we can help each other wade through this crazy time to come out better and healthier… as humans and as a country.
Much love to you… M
What I’m loving this week:
BOOK: I’m reading Laura Tremaine’s new book, The Life Council: 10 friends Every Woman needs and it is SO GOOD Y’ALL! My friend Terri and I went to her book signing here in Nashville and I got to meet Laura, along with the absolutely precious Bri McKoy (bottom right in pic) and the ever-delightful Jamie Golden (top right in pic). What a fun evening! You should definitely follow these wonderful ladies on Instagram and also GET LAURA’S NEW BOOK. I just might be leading a Book Club on this shortly, so stay-tuned.
TV: Hi, I’m Marcia and I’m a Survivor addict. Yep! I have been watching Survivor for over 20 years!! WHAT? That shows hooks me every single season. It is my very favorite guilty pleasure and I’m not one bit ashamed about it! This season (Season 44!) is absolutely entertaining and I’m already sad that the finale is just around the corner. Such characters! Anyone else all in on Survivor??? Who’s your favorite?? I’m mean, how kooky is Carolyn? How interesting is Yam-Yam? How adorable is Carson?
*Image #1 borrowed from: https://theconversation.com/the-science-behind-the-red-mist-and-how-fish-can-help-with-anger-management-93320
**Image #2 borrowed from: https://www.fifthstreetcounseling.org/anger-management/
Great writing & awesome thinking. I love how you outline your personal boundaries regarding what to get invested in.