Fresh Starts

Be curious, think differently and hit reset

Last weekend I spent three days in the woods with twelve amazing women. We laughed, cried, taught, learned, gave, received and healed.

I have never been a “women’s retreat” kind of girl. I’ve only been to one retreat in my entire life, and I was really only there because I was asked to be the musical guest for the weekend. I was pleasantly surprised with how much I enjoyed it, but I still wasn’t sold on signing up for more. Now I found myself putting one together and I felt majorly out of my comfort zone. Luckily I had a dear friend to help and we were able to put together a weekend that I’ll never forget. Now I can’t wait to do another one!

New experiences can be scary. I’m definitely someone who likes to stick with what I know is comfortable for me. But sometimes pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones can bring an unexpected richness to our lives. I started a new podcast called “The Fresh Start Podcast” with my friend Stacey Wynn, and we had a couple of the women from the retreat on as guests this week. It was a beautiful conversation and I hope you’ll tune in! (That episode airs live on Wednesday, Feb. 12th) Below are some links to listen in:

Apple Podcasts:

Spotify:

Amazon Music: https://music.amazon.com/podcasts/dee21732-68e6-44cf-acc1-2f1ac2e284be/the-fresh-start-podcast

YouTube:

Our world seems so divided these days. I believe the only way we can start closing that great divide is by opening our ears, eyes, hearts and minds to new perspectives. Listening to others stories and experiences helps us understand how someone can think so differently about something than we do. We may not end up agreeing with one another, but at least we can understand and not think of the other as an enemy.

Too many times I have listened to respond, rather than listened to understand. Thich Nhat Hanh talks about the art of compassionate listening. I believe we could all benefit from learning how to do that.

I heard someone say recently “Be curious, not furious” and that has stuck with me. I’m not saying there aren’t legitimate things to be angry about these days. I’m not curious about racism, misogyny, homophobia, or white Christian nationalism. Those make me furious. But we can be sure about right or wrong and still be curious with our loved ones around us that might subscribe to those things. If we listen first, then maybe - just maybe - they might be willing to listen to your perspective as well. Maybe you can find some common ground, or maybe not. But it seems to me it’s a step forward towards understanding one another and hopefully starting to bridge the great divide that has come upon us in America.

No one is born racist, misogynistic or homophobic. Someone taught them how to be that. Usually it’s rooted in unfounded fear. As TNH says in the clip above: “The fear, the anger, and the despair is born on the ground of wrong perception. And we have wrong perceptions of the other person and ourselves, and that is the foundation of conflict and war and violence.”

I have personally experienced healing from wrong perceptions, anger and fear when I have been listened to and understood, so I know this to be true. Maybe we can all help heal one another by listening better and with compassion. It sure feels like a good place for a fresh start.

With love… M