Happy Pride!
Love, your hopelessly heterosexual, white, Southern, Christian, woman ally
It’s June 1st and the start of Pride month. I live in Tennessee and our Governor, Bill Lee, recently signed a resolution designating June as “Nuclear Family Month” instead of “Pride Month” - but hey, no silly resolution can change the fact that this month, millions of LGBTQ+ humans and their loved ones will celebrate their culture, their history, and how much they are loved.
I am a hopelessly heterosexual female. I say “hopelessly” because I can’t change that fact. I’ll admit there were a few times in my life where I wondered if I could be attracted to another female. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t do it. It is in my deep being to be heterosexual, and I can’t change that about myself. Nor should I have to.
It’s the same for homosexuals. I’ve spoken to many who have tried and tried to change that about themselves. They’ve tried dating the opposite sex. They’ve tried conversion therapy, they’ve tried to “pray the gay away” - all because they didn’t want to be seen as “different.” Many knew they would be ostracized from their Christian communities, lose friends, possibly be disowned by their families, and even put their jobs at risk if they were to allow others to know who they really were. It’s a heartbreaking reality that they lived day in and day out. Always feeling like something deep inside was broken and they couldn’t fix it, no matter how hard they tried.
I’ve had two friends cry puddles of tears while asking me the same question, “Why did God make me like this?” I honestly didn’t know what to say at the time, but now my answer would be, “Because you are beautiful and perfect just the way you are. There is a phrase that many Christians use to try and say that being Queer is a choice: “God doesn’t make mistakes.” And that’s true, God doesn’t, which is why God made you just as you are for a reason. It’s not God that is rejecting you; it’s humans who have bought into bad theology. This is their issue to wrestle with, it’s not yours. You go be you, and stop trying to be anything else. You are loved just as you are.”
I stumbled upon a new book last week by Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez called Conversion Therapy Dropout: A Queer Story of Faith and Belonging and I haven’t been able to put it down. It’s one of the best books I’ve read in a long time. His story is remarkable and his storytelling is top-notch. I think everyone should read this book. Queer people will feel seen. People who love queer people will understand them better. And those who oppose anything to do with LGBTQ+ issues and rights? Well, they really need to read it! Maybe they can learn a bit about the real lives of real people they are oppressing and understand the damage being done. Timothy tells a powerful story in his memoir! (Side note, I’ve been listening to this book on audible and he does a great job narrating his story. If you like audio books, get it!)
ABOUT THE BOOK: “Timothy Schraeder Rodriguez was an invisible architect behind evangelical Christianity's digital empire, crafting messages of belonging for some of the most influential megachurches--Hillsong Church, Elevation Church, Willow Creek--all while secretly questioning his own place within the faith.
Conversion Therapy Dropout is a behind-the-scenes look at megachurch culture, the hidden harm of non-affirming Christian spaces, and the ongoing impact of conversion therapy on gay Christians. This isn't just a coming-out story--it's about what happens after. About rebuilding a life outside the only world you've ever known. And the radical act of stepping into the light after being told your whole life to stay in the shadows. Sometimes, the greatest act of faith isn't holding on--it's letting go.”1
If you are a Christian (or any other religious faith) who opposes LGBTQ+ rights because they think it’s what “the bible says” - then I might challenge you to do some deeper research on the subject. I say this with love, truly. I understand why you believe the way you do, because I used to believe that too. But there came a time when I had to confront my beliefs on that matter and dig deeper. I was tired of living in the tension of knowing my religious beliefs were actively harming people I loved. I couldn’t live there any longer. If you are interested in my journey on how I became an affirming Christian, there is a link to that in a previous blog I wrote: Why Pride?
If you are on a similar journey, I listed some other books you might want to consider reading at the bottom of this blog. I think you’ll find them great resources as you process how the church and their fundamental, literal approach to scripture has gotten it wrong and done harm, rather than heal.
I’m just so grateful for the LGBTQ+ friends I have in my life. They have taught me so much about loving well, in ways only they could do. It breaks my heart that the church has damaged and alienated so many of them. My LGTBQ+ friends who still worship Jesus give me a special kind of hope. I’ve been on my own spiritual journey and I often think to myself, “If my queer friends haven’t given up on Jesus, then maybe I shouldn’t either.”
I’m passionate about this issue. The act of excluding my LGBTQ+ community from church is the reason I left the church I was attending several years ago. I just couldn’t worship in a place where ALL my friends weren’t welcome just as they are. It was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. I walked away and didn’t return for years. I’m now grateful to have found a church that is totally inclusive to the LGBTQ+ community, so if you are a gay, bi-sexual, trans, (or anyone that falls into the queer community) Christian who has given up on church, I want you to know that Gracepointe Community Church is a safe place for you and you would be welcomed with open arms! (And if you don’t live in the Nashville area, you can join their online community and watch on YouTube every Sunday morning.)
So, HAPPY PRIDE MONTH to all of my LGBTQ+ friends! I’m proud to know you, love and be loved by you, and be your ally —- even if I’m hopelessly heterosexual! LOL
Love…. M
RESOURCES:
Love Makes Room: And other things I learned when my daughter came out - by Staci Frenes.
UnClobber: Rethinking our misuse of The Bible on Homosexuality - by Colby Martin
Born Again Queer: A History of Evangelical Gay Activism and the Making of Antigay Christianity - by William Stell
Does Jesus Really Love Me - by Jeff Chu
Torn: Rescuing the gospel from the gays vs. christian debate - by Justin Lee
God and The Gay Christian - by Matthew Vines
And some other great resources:
Has “Homosexual” always been in the Bible? via United Methodist Insight
“Leaving High Control Religion” by Marcus Royce.
Quote from Amazon book page description of Conversion Therapy Dropout





Spot on, as usual, Marcia!👏🏼✨🌈
Amen and Amen! #InclusionIsTheGospel