Leaving Church and Embracing The Wilderness

... and a little bit about Women's History Month

Happy March, everyone. Did you know this month is Women’s History Month? And today, March 8th, is International Women’s Day.

March was declared Women’s History Month in 1987, when congress passed Pub. L. 100-9, officially making the month of March about celebrating the contributions women have made to the United States and recognizing the specific achievements women have made over the course of American history in a variety of fields.

Each year has had a theme. I love this year's theme which is all about equity, diversity and inclusion. The National Women’s History Alliance, a nonprofit that spearheaded the movement for March to be Women’s History Month in the United States, said this about this year's theme: "The theme recognizes women throughout the country who understand that, for a positive future, we need to eliminate bias and discrimination entirely from our lives and institutions."

For more information about Women's History Month, just visit: https://www.womenshistorymonth.gov

Brave women in our history have paved the way for us to have many of the rights we have today. Rights such as the right to vote, the right to birth control, the right to run for congress, the right to have any job we want (although the equal pay thing is still an issue).

And there are many other rights we take for granted these days, like the right to own our own home (1964), apply for credit in their own name without a male guarantor (1980), gender discrimination (1975), demand equal pay (1985), and the right to have federal assistance for education (1972).

We've come a long way, thanks to our founding mothers, but we still have a long way to go. When I look back at all the rights women have gotten just in my lifetime, it’s really astounding! May we continue to keep pushing for women to have the same rights as men, including the ability to make choices for their own healthcare.

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We just started an online book club through my women’s non-profit, God and My Girlfriends. We are reading Sarah Bessey’s new book, Field Notes For The Wilderness: Practices for An Evolving Faith. (It’s not too late if you want to join us - just email us at gamgbookclubs@gmail.com or click the link below and I’ll send you the Zoom link and reading plan!).

This book has resonated with me a lot as I have definitely felt like I’ve been in a spiritual wilderness of sorts these last few years. When I stopped attending church regularly several years ago, it felt very odd at first. I grew up attending a Southern Baptist Church and my family and I were there practically every time the doors were open. Mom and Dad both served in several capacities at the church and I was active in choir, handbells, youth group, etc… It wouldn’t be stretching it to say our lives and community revolved around our church. I eventually married and my new husband’s family was Church of Christ and equally as committed to their church of choice so now in my early marital years, the Church of Christ and their teachings formed much of our thinking, our being, and our community.

After our divorce, I got involved in two different non-denominational churches that I joined, served in and loved for several years. But I left both of those for different reasons and eventually went back to a Baptist church in an effort to go back to my roots. That was a disaster. There were some lovely people there, and some I still consider good friends, but the theology there just wasn’t anything I felt I could live with.

So I left.

That was about 10 years ago.

I’ve popped in a few churches here and there. I attended one church ( with very progressive theology that I loved) semi-regularly, even serving there for awhile on the music team, but eventually I was lead back into the wilderness and it was just up to me and the Holy Spirit to wrestle out my new belief system.

Some people call it deconstructing. Others use different terms like disentangling, shifting, evolving or reimagining. Whatever it is, I agree with the quote below by Larissa Lee on Twitter/X. God can handle our questions, doubts, honesty and laments. Any institution, church, or person who cannot be questioned and evaluated for truth shouldn’t be trusted. But God is always trustworthy.

Funny thing is, after a time of feeling very alone in the wilderness, I started noticing a few others out here, waving from behind trees. “Hi… We’re here too. Wanna be friends?” Wow! Not only are there others out here, but they are super friendly, if maybe just a little shy from their previous experiences with organized religion that left them feeling a bit broken and bruised. It takes a lot to recover from spiritual abuse. When you were taught that the church was the safest place for you to be, but then you find out that isn’t always the case, it can be earth shaking and life altering.

But the wilderness has become my home and I’m ok staying here for awhile. I’m embracing the new friends I’ve found that have also decided to camp out here for a while. It’s fun when we circle up together around a campfire, or dining room table and talk about our faith lives now. It’s cool to see someone’s eyes light up as they talk about their spiritual journey and how they are finding that God always makes a path toward him/her/they for those that are searching.

Am I anti-church? Oh heavens, no! There are a few sweet churches that I like to pop in now and then for corporate worship. It can feel beautiful at times. It also feels beautiful to have “church” on a nature walk or from my cabin porch in the mountains, or even just sitting in my sun room at home. There are many things I miss about the community of a church home, but my little wilderness community is helping with that longing.

One thing I’ve learned is that faith isn’t a belief system. Faith is trust. And although I don’t adhere to one single belief system these days, my faith and trust in God the Divine is bigger and stronger and wider than it’s ever been. And actually discovering that God doesn’t belong in one theological box/belief system is very relieving! Whew!

I’ll end with a quote in Sarah’s book that her father said to her one time as she was questioning her previously held beliefs and worrying that she might be going in the wrong direction. Her father said this:

“I’m not afraid for you. If you’re honestly seeking God, I believe you will find what you’re looking for, even if it looks different than what I have found.”

Press on, dear questioners and wilderness warriors. You are not alone. It might be a little quieter out here in the wilderness, but all are welcome in the new beauty that is before us… and in us.

Peace to you… Marcia