Dying to self, over and over and over
The healing pattern of loss and renewal
The Christian lifestyle is intended to be one where the believer lives not in service to self, but in service to God and other people. That is what they call “dying to self”, right? Uhhhhh… kind of. But I believe there is more to it than that.
Can we live our lives in service to others and still miss the big picture? Is Christianity more of a behavior modification than a truly transformational experience?
The whole point of Christianity, any religion really, should be about transformation. It isn’t just about getting to heaven when we die. The gospel message isn’t just fire insurance. The gospel is about transforming ourselves into Christ-like creatures so that we can impact the world in beautiful ways. It’s about bringing the Kingdom of God to the here and now.
Christianity—as well as Buddhism, other religions, and nature-based systems—suggests that the pattern of transformation, the pattern that connects, the life that reality offers us is not death avoided, but always death transformed. In other words, the only trustworthy pattern of spiritual transformation is death and resurrection.1
The cross shows the healing power of transformation. Death gives way to life. It’s the power of resurrection. It’s the healing power of loss and renewal. It is literally around us everyday, all the time. We just need to know where to look. That is why we pray for “eyes that see and ears that hear.”
You know the old saying “When God closes a door, he opens a window”? Although I’m not usually a fan of cliché’s, (particularly ones that are attributed to the Bible but are not there), I actually like this one as I’ve felt the truth in it before. When something ends, there is always something else waiting for us to begin. Loss and renewal.
“Just because something ended doesn’t mean it failed.” — Jason Isbell
Things end. Things die. People die. It’s part of life. But as Christians, we believe that there is resurrection after death. That is what I believe the cross is all about. And dying to “self” means dying to selfish ways and selfish agendas. It doesn’t mean denying yourself self-care, love, attention, and other things you need to be whole. It doesn’t mean becoming a martyr by giving, giving and giving more until you are spent. Unfortunately, some have interpreted this phrase to mean exactly that.
So how do we accomplish this “dying to self” thing?
In my experience, it only happens when I release my desires and rely on my faith. My faith has shown me time and time again that God will see me through hard times and bring me back to life.
The other day, as I was meditating, a sentence came into my head: “There is peace, when you release.” I felt an immediate sense of calm, connected to a feeling of re-birth. I had been stuck in a bad thought pattern for awhile, and it was slowly killing me inside. This little message from God was so simple, yet it was profound for me in that moment. I have continued to hold onto it as I have struggled through some challenges lately. It has continued to renew me and I’m grateful for it.
We can kill our joy, our peace, our light and love when we stay in those dark emotional places. Releasing my worries to God has never failed to bring me back. Cymbalta and therapy help too. :-) But seriously, learning to thrive in this world and not just survive, is what resurrection looks like to me. Then we can help resurrect everything and everyone around us, which is what I believe is our main job here on earth.
As we are entering the autumn season, I am reminded of the pattern of loss and renewal. It’s all around us as we watch the leaves turn colors and slowly fall from the trees. But we know that come next spring, those trees will bloom again and leaves will grow after a time of rest and renewal over the winter. You may need a time of rest and renewal too, and I hope you’ll allow that for yourself.
Where do you see resurrection/renewal in your life these days? I’d love to know.
Love to you all… M
The phrase that spoke to me was “ learning to thrive and not just survive “. Thanks for that. Also, unless we care for ourselves, we can’t fully care for others.